WHEN
LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH.
There are times in a
relationship when “LOVE” is not enough. This is the time you need to engage
your brain, wisdom and your sixth sense. Most people get so carried away all in
the name of love.
They start to do
things; they normally would not do and keep using the cliché “IT IS BECAUSE I
LOVE YOU”. Learn this fact, “NO MORTAL MAN OR WOMAN CAN DIE FOR YOU”.
As long
as blood flows through that vein, we are all a victim of the same sickness, weakness,
ideas and mentality. Loving someone does not mean losing grip of reality and
yourself, because once you do that, you have definitely gotten everything all
wrong.
When love is combined
with been smart and realistic, then you have succeeded in loving someone and
still knowing what is right and what is forbidden.
Why then should you
inconvenience yourself to please someone, don’t you know you can never love
that person more than yourself. There are certain position of compromise and
inhuman sacrifice that this so called love will put you, and the only way to
get yourself out without a scratch or a scar is to engage your brain, shut your
heart, (that doesn’t mean you should be cold hearted), disengage the motion of
your emotions, put to use your wisdom and learn to listen to your conscience.
A love that always
bends you into its own selfish shape shouldn’t be enough to carry you on in
that relationship, well that is if you want something good from it. There will
come a period in that relationship when what separates you from suffering from
a heart break and a life of a long time union of joy and happiness is an act of
wisdom, brilliance, courage and a dare devil action. Not every time should you
dance to the tune of love, even though the tune is sweet, but too much of it
could get you drowsy, tipsy and slavish, you just discover that you no longer
do things, or take decisions from the right frame of your loving mind.
Do not let love get
you blind, love is not enough reason for
him to lay hands on you, it is not enough for him to treat you like trash, is
love enough reason to assume his level of commitment, or wish that one day he
or she will be committed. The more you keep leaving everything to love the more
pain you will be bringing to your fragile heart.
There are times when
love cannot give you the comfort, convenience, assurance, conviction and
believe that you need in life, because so many have successfully infiltrated
the scared order of love, they have turned it into a weapon of lies and deceit,
that is why you need to know what else to fall on, that inner strength that is
immune to the weakness and sickness love brings with it.
Or don’t you know
there is another life outside your so called love life. A messed up love life
could mess up the other side of anyone’s life. Wake up from that love drunk
fever, life is too real to be mistaken for an “M&B Novel”, a “TITANIC
MOVIE”, or a “FREAKY MAKE BELIEVE STORY”. Don’t you know that? A misguided
emotion can cause commotion.
Always have this at
the back of your mind that there will come a time, when love would not be
enough for you to take that very important decision, of either staying or
leaving that relationship or friendship.
Know
this; A RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE A SHIP THAT REQUIRES MORE THAN ONE CAPTAIN TO VOYAGE
IT TO ITS GLORIOUS DESTINATION. So get on your feet and do something
THINGS
YOU MUST NOT DO IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
In a relationship you must define what it is all about, know
what you want and what you are in for. For a relationship to be an healthy one
there are certain things you must not do, it might not be convenient but it
must not be done, so as to keep your dignity and sanity intact. No relationship
is a do or die, have this at the back of your mind because it can be very
helpful.
1.
Never try to make everything work alone; you are
no super man or woman. You can’t do it all by yourself, involve the other party
or before you know it, the party is over before it even starts.
2.
Never assume his or her level of commitment and
love towards you. Remember if it is not absolute, then it can’t be true. As
there is fake orgasm so there is fake love. Assumption is not permitted in that
relationship, or else it is not healthy.
3.
Have a life of your own, do not depend solely on
his or her attention, company, love, affection and friendship. This help keep
you in check and sane at all times.
4.
Never appear subdued or helpless in a
relationship, it puts you at a very big disadvantage, which predisposes you to
heart breaks and emotional trauma.
5.
Never expose your weakness, so quick, try as
much as possible to always promote your strength; it is a very good decoy. It
could come in handy.
6.
Do not give more than you can afford, always
remain realistic even in your giving, it protects you from expecting too much.
When you give all in this one, you might have nothing left for another
relationship.
7.
Do not expect too much in a relationship, always
put your expectation on a reasonable level, no one is perfect.
8.
Never you go into a relationship thinking you
can change him or her. It is the most impossible reality in most cases. Some
even say she/he will change with time. It is a gamble you should not take if
you are not ready to live with its consequences.
9.
Being in a relationship, should not make you a
pest, or a canker worm, it sends a very bad signal, which automatically affects
your reputation in that relationship, try not to be so dependent on your
partner, it could be tiring on him/her.
10.
Never
sacrifice or compromise any of these if you are not sure where the relationship
is heading, (your body, mind, happiness, belief, ideology, cultural background,
dreams, goals, fears, hope and vision). You might not forgive yourself if you
did and got nothing good back in return.
11.
Never do away with your close friends that could
be the biggest mistake you can ever make, you need their advice, attention and
criticism, it could be mind opening.
12.
Never see it as a do or die thing, if this one
doesn’t work there is room for another opportunity, with this at the back of
your mind you tend to take things easy and calm. You just flow with it
naturally.
13.
Do not take up the FBI or police job in the
relationship; it could be very frustrating and suicidal. When it is time for
the truth to come out it will come naturally and embarrassingly, so sweat less.
You can’t know everything.
14.
Never be too needy, mushy and emotional, give
him or her space to breathe. Everyone needs space, a space that needs no one to
invade. Know that there are times he/she just doesn’t want to see you, it is
not a bad sign it is just nature. So when you know this you won’t be too hard
on yourself.
15.
Never assume all relationship will lead to the
altar, so thread cautiously, focus your mind and get ready for whatever comes
with it.
16.
Do not be too predictable, and don’t be waiting
to receive at all times, it could back fire.
17.
Never use sex to fix things in a relationship,
sex never keeps a man or a woman.
18.
Never use money or gift to fix things, money
never wins a girls heart.
19.
Never allow yourself to be disrespected and
never disrespect your partner, respect comes with the package.
20.
Don’t be the one to always say you are sorry, if
not you won’t be taken serious, that is the truth.
21.
Avoid co-habitation as possible as you can, especially
if you are the lady, it gets the guy so carried away, living together in a
relationship that is still young and spontaneous is just not healthy for that
relationship.
22.
Never you see your partner’s siblings, relatives
or parents as a threat. Learn to live with this fact, they were and will
forever be in his or her life, so there is nothing you can do about that.
KEEP ALL THESE IN CHECK AND YOU ARE READY TO HAVE AND LIVE IN
A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.